Hi Everyone!

Near the beginning of this newsletter’s creation, I tried documenting a lot of different parts of my life, trying to figure out what sticks. Some of these documented events were virtual watch parties with friends (e.g., 🏈 Super Bowl Sunday! 2/9/25, ❤️ Will You Be My Valentine? 2/16/25, and 💰 The Real Treasure... 3/2/25). However, as I found my groove as a writer, I became less interested in media analysis and more focused on exploring museums, restaurants, and experiences that get me out of the house. While this is less of a focus in the newsletters now, it still happens, and I think it is important to shed light on these moments from time to time because of how personally meaningful they are. I have some exciting news on that front as well!

Brent, Lexie, Sterling, Rylee, and I have finished another season of Love Is Blind. This time around, though, as the credits started rolling for the final episode, zero couples got married at the end of it. I was shocked. For a moment, it truly seemed like we had finally answered the question, “Is love blind?” and the answer was emphatically no. Just as I was a bout to celebrate, though, a small rectangular auto-play box appeared in the bottom left-hand corner for the next season. It appears that, despite all the evidence to the contrary, the producers feel that they have not fully answered this question. Fifty years from now, I can only imagine that we will be on season 60, still trying to answer this seemingly obvious question. They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, but insanity is also what makes good reality TV.

With that said, let’s find out What’s Up With Will…

Since last week, I have continued my search into Sociology, Anthropology, and Communication Studies. After some review, I have determined that Anthropology is not the field that I want to focus on for a PhD. Despite a department that could allow me to emphasize qualitative and field methodologies, I feel like Sociology and Communication are a better fit for the research I hope to conduct. That being said, I am increasingly drawn to Sociology and Communication programs that highlight interdisciplinary opportunities as I navigate through the seas of PhD applications. A program like this would allow me to capitalize on the theories, methods, and frameworks of all three fields.

I have also created a master spreadsheet, where I have begun inputting any program that even slightly piques my interest, and then weeding out programs based on research fit, methodologies used, location, potential advisors, and (I am a little bit ashamed to admit it, but I have missed gameday vibes on a college campus) sports culture. I have found a couple of interesting programs so far, but I am still at the very beginning of my search.

The hardest part about all of this is that I have no experience with figuring out how all this PhD stuff works, so I am just bootstrapping it, hoping that it all works out in the end. I have also reached out to some academic advisors and professors to ask for some help. Fingers crossed!

Coming off a 2-0 win against Bosnia and Herzegovina (with playing down a player for the last 30 minutes due to a red card), I was ecstatic going into Monday’s Round of 16 match against Belgium. With so much unbridled optimism, I began thinking, “Maybe we could make it to the quarter finals?”, or more outlandishly, “Maybe we could win it all this year?”

We decided to go to Retro Junkie Bar, an 80’s/90’s themed bar complete with checkerboard tiling and a vintage arcade, which held a watch party. A pretty sizable group of people showed up, among whom were a few fans more zealous than us, which led to multiple collective “USA” chants, a roaring cheer for when the US scored their singular goal, and a palpable sense of doom as the game progressed towards a 1-4 loss.

I have a track record for being a fan of teams that have had quite a bit of hard luck, yet I think things are beginning to look up. Despite the USA falling apart on the global stage, I think this is one of the best showings in the World Cup in recent years. Similarly, Georgia Tech Football, which sucked the entire time I was in college, has got a bit of pep in their steps this past year, and the Oakland Ballers just won the Pioneer League. That being said, I am still reserving the right to bandwagon teams for any sport that I am not currently a fan of, because I could use a win right now. That means I am a *checks notes* New York Knicks fan, Carolina Hurricanes fan, and Seattle Seahawks fan.

A week ago, I saw a blanket application to compete in a gelato-eating competition. On the form, it asked you why you should be selected, and I said, “I have ice cream on my wrist, but I’m really craving gelato”. Lo and behold, I was invited to participate! The only problem was that I had never been in a competitive eating competition before. That being said, I knew that if I was going to partake in this, I was going to give it my best attempt. So, in addition to impulse purchasing red, white, and blue sweatbands, inviting all of my friends to join me, and coming up with a Joey Chestnut-esque introduction speech, I then had to sit down and methodically research how to competitively eat frozen desserts. 

I find it borderline hysterical that I can pore over a copious number of resources, all telling me the steps to dominate in a gelato contest, yet competitive eating has been around for centuries. Nathan’s Fourth of July hot dog eating contest first started back in 1916, but if you trace back this tradition far enough, the Norse have an ancient myth involving Loki facing off against a giant in an eating duel¹ Needless to say, there was much to pull from for advice. 

Multiple Redditors, blog posts, and competitive eater vlogs listed strategies I hadn’t even thought of. After a day of research, I had the following plan in place that I hoped would allow me to crush the competition:

The day of, I filled my water bottle with hot water, dressed in my competitive eating attire, and started making my way to the Locust Street Fest, where the competition was occurring. When I arrived, I checked in and convinced the Emcee to give me the microphone so I could recite my meticulously crafted intro speech. Additionally, despite sending out the invite two days before, I was able to rally a baller crowd of friends to support me: Rylee, Cami, Rachel, Maria, Johnny, Kara, and West. As they announced that the contest would begin shortly, everyone started cheering me on as I walked to the stage. 

As the Emcee began saying people’s names, he waved to me to grab the mic, so I passed it to Rylee as she shouted:

I then ran onto the stage. I was invigorated about this contest. Nothing could stop me from beating the other 12 contestants. Then, my strategy started falling apart.

When I walked on, they gave me the smallest spoon that could be manufactured. One so tiny that there was no way that it could shield the gelato from the roof of my mouth. Then, the ice cream came out, preselected with cookies and cream flavor. With mix-ins, I couldn’t just swallow. I had to chew. My confidence was shaken, and I was frantically thinking of a new strategy. Then, I heard the emcee say, “3, 2, 1, Start!” 

Without thinking, I shoved the microscopic spoon into my pocket and picked up my water in one hand and the gelato in the other. I took a massive bite of gelato and immediately guzzled it down with my hot water, and I kept repeating these two steps. After about two bites in, I began to realize the sheer absurdity of the situation that I was in. I started to regret joining this contest, but then I remembered the part of my strategy that I could still use: eat fast to keep up my momentum. 

As I got back into my rhythm, the crowd began to disappear, the music started to dissipate, and my opponents vanished.  The world ceased to exist, and all that was left was Gelato carnage: Just me and the frozen dessert in front of me. Bite. drink. swallow. Bite. drink. swallow. Bite. drink. swallow. 

I had only one small portion left when I heard the contest was called. Someone else had finished it before me, but I pushed on and finished in second. Regardless of my official rank, I had conquered this gelato, and as I walked back to my friends, they cheered once more as we celebrated.

During the celebration, Kara told me that they went to high school with the winner, and they frequently competed in food contests. I had no shot against an actual pro in an amateur competition, so I am going to chalk this one up to a spiritual first place.

For our date night this week, we decided to go to Kiku Sushi & Vegetarian in Lafayette, CA. When we ordered a carafe of sake for the table, our server brought over a pick-your-own-adventure tray of over 30 different cups for us to drink from, each giving us a completely different story for how the night was to unfold. I don’t think I realized what I was getting into when I picked up my cup. My order of Salmon Teriyaki (not vegetarian, but pescatarian, mind you) came out sizzling on a fajita skillet, which I can’t say is customary, but I also know that I have never ordered anything other than sushi at a sushi restaurant. Also, upon receiving our food, an older gentleman walks up to us, saying, “I can’t believe you started without me”. He then asked Rylee if I was treating her right, and thank goodness she said yes. I should note here that we did not know this man. He then walked to his table and began pulling out comedy bit after comedy bit. The lesson here is to never underestimate the importance of committing to the bit.

It’s been a while since I’ve been to Oracle Park, but this weekend’s perfect maelstrom of events gave us the perfect excuse to come back.

First of all, it was Fiesta Gigantes, featuring live music by Comando Unico, and a free Gigantes Aloha Shirt giveaway (which might just be the best giveaway ever given away). Also, that day was Dog Days (a personal favorite Giants Game of ours), where a bunch of the best boys ever parade over the field adorned in costumes. With all the festivities, it was easy to forget that a game was about to start.

However, once the pitch was thrown, and we made it to our seats, I was reminded of why I love coming back here. We watched the game while taking in the majestic views of a picture-perfect Bay. Then there are the people who work there. A concession worker started smacking me around with bags of cotton candy, and later, the emcees of the event made it up to our section, and we got on the Jumbotron! Along the way, I even learned a bit more about baseball (The pitcher did a balk, an illegal motion made by a pitcher when base runners are present).

After the game, we also managed to make it on the field for the Ticket Member Appreciation Week’s Summertime Celebration. For an hour after the game, we picnicked on the green with free hot dogs and drinks given to us by actual Giants players, and after a year of going to Giants games, we finally got to take our photo with Lou Seal. I can only imagine what hijinks we will get up to next game…

As previously mentioned, every year, the SF Giants host a couple of “Dog Days.” Fans bring their dogs, often dressed in costumes, and parade around the field before the game. It’s one of my favorite events, so here’s my second annual Rylee Rates Dogs. 

Honorable Mentions:

Top Cat of the game? Pretty sure someone snuck a very adventurous cat into dog day via cat-backpack. Bold move. I like it, but it’s not a dog, so it cannot be in my official rankings. 

Top DAWG of the game: My main man Lucile. I’ve been trying to get a photo with Lucile since our first Giants game, and it finally happened. Again, Lucile is not a dog, he is a seal, so he gets his own category. 

Bad dog of the game: They say there are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Well, this cuties owner decided to dress him in a Dodgers Jersey for a Giants game, leaving him looking Goofy AF. Poor guy. 

10. Incredible disguise as Santa’s sleigh. Gave me a good laugh, but it’s the wrong season, so he’s at the bottom of our list. 

9. This guy greeted us on our walk into the stadium. I’m just impressed that the Giants could afford to hire Superman for security. Felt very safe (even if he would probably sell me out for a treat). 

8. So cool. Too cool for school. Cool guy. 

7. Got a little scared when Bowser got on the field, but he seemed like a chill guy in the end.

6. Love a matching mother/daughter moment. 

5. Incredible costume of the famous Oracle Park splash ball sign. I just wish this guy had the energy to match how amazing he looks. Slightly too chill given the circumstances.

4. This is Auburn, the “play ball dog” of the game. Instead of someone yelling “play ball!,” Auburn said “woof woof!” Auburn was so brave to speak publicly in front of so many people, and I love that the Giants prioritize accessibility to make sure that all of the dogs in the park could understand the start of the game. Multilingual icons. The best boy. 

3. This costume of the Giants now-retired anti-mascot the Crazy Crab is iconic. But the best part about this is the performance quality. This dog had a whole dance choreographed and ready to perform, perfectly emulating the vibe of the Crazy Crab. I respect the dedication to the craft.

2. I can’t begin to describe how much I love this dog that was in the DJ booth. He was chaotic. He was so excited to be here. He has no idea how big he is. He had the best day of his life. 

1. This straight chiller won my heart and the number one spot on today’s list. His mom was working the event, checking IDs at a margarita sample stand, and he was being the absolute best boy. He gave me a free margarita, gifted Will a free pair of sunglasses, and his mom pulled Will aside to tell him “her birthday is coming up in a month—get to work now” after checking my ID. Great dog. Great wingwoman. An absolute power duo. 

The breakout star of the World Cup, Erling Haaland, has been vlogging his entire experience, and its awesome to get the perspective from one of the players.